Pain is Good if God is Glorified: Questions to ask ourselves about thefruit of the Spirit.

 Here's a great post on the fruit of the Spirit with really great questions to ask ourselves after each: http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/faith/essentials/growing-in-your-faith/10-ideas-reflecting-the-fruit-of-the-spirit

Here are the questions he asks (but really, read the terrific paragraphs in the post before each question): 

For love: Question: Am I motivated to do for others as Christ has done for me, or am I giving in order to receive something in return? 

Joy: Question: Am I experiencing a joy of life on a regular basis, or is my happiness dependent on things going smoothly in my day?

Peace: Question: Do I find myself frazzled by the crashing waves of turmoil in my life, or am I experiencing “the peace that passes all comprehension” (Philippians 4:6-7)?

Patience: Question: Am I easily set off when things go wrong or people irritate me, or am I able to keep a godly perspective in the face of life’s irritations?

Kindness: Question: Is it my goal to serve others with kindness, or am I too focused on my own needs, desires or problems to let the goodness of God overflow to others?

Goodness: Question: Does my life reflect the holiness of God, and do I desire to see others experience God at a deep level in their own lives?

Faithfulness: Question: Are there areas of hypocrisy and indifference toward others in my life, or is my life characterized by faith in Christ and faithfulness to those around me?

Gentleness: Question: Do I come across to others as brash and headstrong, or am I allowing the grace of God to flow through me to others?

Self-control: Question: Are my fleshly desires controlling my life, or am I allowing the Spirit to direct me to the things that please God and serve others?

These are tough questions. It's humbling to realize there are some areas I might be doing ok with and some of these where I need a whole lot of work! The real measurement, of course, is not an evaluation of myself but what my closest friends and my wife think of me. It's humbling to ask them their opinion. But we must. We must also ask God to show us where we need an increase in one or more of these. And we must realize it's only His power that can bring that increase. 

The questions make the application hit home for me. I, like you, have heard countless teachings on the fruit of the Spirit. But it's not an intellectual thing, like a list to memorize. These are virtues we NEED worked into our character so that we can reflect the living Christ in our lives. 

The article closes with the following last question: 

"10. Walk by the Spirit. While not a fruit of the Spirit, the final item on the checkup produces all nine qualities listed above. When we follow the Spirit’s lead instead of being led by our self-focused desires, He produces the fruit.

But even when we don’t walk by the Spirit, He is the very one who convicts us that things are not in proper order in our lives.

God promises that if we are willing to admit that we have been walking our own way and ask for His forgiveness and cleansing, He will empower us through His Spirit to live above ourselves and live the abundant life for which He has created us.

Question: Am I actively depending on the Holy Spirit to guide me in God’s ways so I don’t get wrapped up in myself? If not, am I willing to confess to God that His ways are better than mine, and that I need the Spirit’s guidance to live above the fray?"

There certainly is a constant battle between self and the Spirit. Only when we recognize this battle is ever present, and that we need to continually confess our weaknesses and call on God to send his Spirit, can we see a growth in the fruits. 

Having fruit in our lives is important because we are known by them. There is much to be said of fruit in John 15. We are actually called by God to bear fruit. We can be sure that he will prune the branches - the areas of our life - where we are not producing good fruit. But what a great and glorious process! Not only does God care enough to sacrifice his son for our sins he sends his Spirit to renew and remake our hearts. What an honor to be part of the building the kingdom of God. But we must always remember that building begins with brokenness and humility. We must always go before God and ask for more fruit. Fruit does not come naturally, and our flesh will always war against the fruits of the Spirit. 

I'm sure I'll read these questions above several more times, as painful as the answers might be. Pain is good, however, if God is glorified in the end. 

Pride vs humility.

One cannot study pride versus humilty without paying a visit to the Proverbs. 

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." -11:2

"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." -16:18

"Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honor." -18:12

Pride leads to disgrace, destruction and downfall. While humilty leads to wisdom and honor. Pride versus humility. These are two very different conditions of the heart. But each path is a choice. Pride is a choice. And humilty is a choice. These are not external or imposed on us. Another person does not make me choose pride or humilty. I choose one or the other on my own. But I cannot choose humilty without God's help. 

Pride is of the flesh and humilty is of the Spirit. Since the flesh is weak pride exists to some degree in all people. So the Spirit is needed to break down pride. The choice we must make is to reject pride by inviting the Spirit to destroy the work of pride in our hearts. This invitation is the first and most important act of humilty. A person growing more humble is the one who has requested this work of the Spirit with great repetition and urgency. While a person growing more proud has given into the flesh with repetition and does not see the urgent need of the Spirit. In fact ones pride often fools them into thinking they are walking in the Spirit. This is where we need outside attention from trusted friends.

One prerequisite to pride is blindness to it. The one who is proud does not know it. If we did know we would repent. Pride keeps us in the dark so that more and more pride can be added on and we can move further and further away from humilty. This is Satan's aim, to destroy us by making us blind to our pride. Sometimes only a trusted friend can tell us we have become proud. Where we may be blind another can see for us. In my life the person most often pointing out my pride is my wife. I gave her permission to be honest with me and that has saved me from downfall more times than I can count. But what if downfall does come? 

If the Spirit and our friends cannot get through to us, and pride does lead to downfall and destruction, what then? Fortunately, God is a God of forgiveness. Downfall may break us but brokenness can lead to humilty and to a rebirth. With God it's never over. We don't have to look very hard to find examples. Paul, Peter, and Jonah were all proud. They reached brokenness and then God remade them. It's never over for our heart unless we decide it is over. 

God showed himself to the world through Christ to be a God of humilty. Jesus did not grasp for greatness but instead he humbled himself on the cross (Phillipians 2). As a result he was honored by the Father. Jesus heeded the wisdom of the Proverbs and so should we. 

"A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor." -29:23

What is dad trying to teach me? What should I learn here?

I'll admit, I have a love-hate relationship with God's discipline. On the one hand he tells me He disciplines me because He loves me and considers me to be a "legitimate child." But on the other hand, well, discipline is just hard! Consider Hebrews 12:

   " 5  Have you forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 
    6  because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
    7  Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? 8  If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9  Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10  Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

When I'm disciplining one of my five sons, or my one daughter, I always look for one thing: Is this discipline going all the way into their hearts? I can correct behavior with punishment but what I'm really after is lasting character change. So I almost always stop and talk to them. Each time, I explain the world a little more and describe how they fit into it. Depending on their age (my oldest is 13 and youngest is 6) I want them to gain insight into their own hearts and ultimately come out a little more like Christ. I can always tell when they're resisting the deeper lessons I'm trying to teach. Sometimes their resistance means they get talked to for quite awhile as I try different angles to get my points across. If I continue to have trouble sometimes I stop and make them say, "What is dad trying to teach me here?" Ultimately I'm after a true lesson learned. It takes patience but it sure is worth it to see their character develope. 

God does the same with us. We start going thru something hard, whether the result of our own mistakes or the mistakes of someone else, and we begin  to feel we are under God's discipline. The very best thing we can do first is ask, "God, what do I need to learn here? What lesson are you trying to teach me?" We should ask Him everyday until we have learned the lesson he is trying to teach us. If discipline goes on for awhile we should not loose heart because it is our heart He is trying to change. But beware of pride. 

When I'm trying to work into my kids a better character the main enemy is always, without a doubt, pride. I face off with their pride more times than not. They start out blaming others, making excuses, or shutting down. It's my goal to cut thru their ego and help them truly grow. Sometimes, as the pride falls, they hang their heads in shame over what they've done, so I say, "Look up at me. Look me in the eyes. I love you!" I stay at it until I'm satisfied they have accepted my forgiveness, taken their due responsibility and have learned something valuable. Character does not develop in an instant. It takes working against their pride. 

The main enemy of God's discipline with us is also pride. We face a hardship and we blame others, make excuses, or shut down. I've done this with God too many times to count. My ego is enlarged and I'm at risk of missing the lesson and the heart change. Fortunately God stays after me until I learn the lesson. If I hang my head in shame He says, "Look up at me. I love you. I gave my Son for you. You are my child." He patiently stays at it with me until I've accepted His forgiveness, taken due responsibility, and learned something valuable. 

In my parenting of my children and in God's fathering of me the same holds true in this: "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." The effort to discipline is worth it for April and I because we get to see our kids at peace. The same is true of God. He disciplines us because he wants us to be at peace. 

Can we be trained by God's discipline? That's up to us. It is certainly not easy to go thru God's discipline. However, the harvest of righteousness and peace is sure worth letting Him do so. The fact that we even receive His discipline is the best news for it means we are indeed legitimate children. 

Lessons in Humilty

Jesus once said, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from 

me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find 

rest for your souls."

Jesus was and is the perfect example of humilty. He invites us to learn from him, to take his yoke. His yoke is easy and light because gentleness and humilty is light. Pride is heavy. Pride weighs down the soul and there is no rest. Only the burden can be felt on our back. Pride feeds the burden. Makes it heavier and heavier. Eventually the back will break under our pride. And we will fall. 

Humilty, on the otherhand, and it's close campanion, gentleness, lifts the yoke until it is barely felt. The more of these two virtues we possess the lighter our burdens in the world become. The world does not teach humilty of heart. Only Christ teaches such things to his followers. But more than a teaching he says he "is" gentle and humble of heart. We know him to be these because of the  way he is with us. More so we know it is true because in those moments when we do find a humble and gentle path we indeed find rest for our souls, just as he promised.

I recently witnessed this truth principe in action. A year ago some married friends of ours split up. She held off divorce to see if the man could change. The man was full of pride and self defenses. And his soul was far from at rest. But through the power of the Spirit he chose a humble and gentle path. He accepted his circumstances and lowered himself. He embraced humilty to such a degree that God began to remake him. His transformation was so astounding that she invited him back home. 

Recently the two of them went out to lunch. She asked him, "Do you remember when you asked me what I wanted in a husband?" He said, "Yes." She continued, "Well, I wrote it down a year ago and today I would like to show you the list and you can see how you have become that man." His eyes widened and he immediately replied, "No!"  "No, I do not want to see that list. My help comes from the Lord and I trust he will continue to change me as long as I focus on him."

The husband humbled himself and God lifted him up. It's amazing but true. And it's amazingly true in every circumstance. I looked the man in the eyes a few days ago and you know what I saw? A very, very light soul. A soul certainly at rest. It's a beautiful and inspiring sight to see - a man's soul at rest in His Lord. 

God keeps his promises. 

Matthew 11:29 >> Take my yoke upon you and learnfrom me,* for I am gentle andhumble in heart, and you will findrest for your souls.*  Luke (2)  Luke 1:48 >> for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant.*From now on all generations will call me blessed,*   Luke 1:52 >> He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble.*  Ephesians (1)  Ephesians 4:2 >> Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another* in love.   James 4:6 >> But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."* *   James 4:10 >> Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.*  1 Peter (3)  1 Peter 3:8 >> Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another;* be sympathetic, love as brothers,*be compassionate and humble.*   1 Peter 5:5 >> Young men, in the same way be submissive* to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility* toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."* *   1 Peter 5:6 >> Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.*