Have you ever been Spiritually Abused? Spiritual Abuse Defined:

Authoritarian >  Image Conscious > 

Suppresses Criticism > Perfectionistic > Unbalanced. 

Read about these 

five characteristics of spiritual abuse 

below. 

"Spiritual abuse occurs when someone in a position of spiritual authority, the purpose of which is to 'come underneath' and serve, build, equip and make God's people MORE free, misuses that authority placing themselves over God's people to control, coerce or manipulate them for seemingly Godly purposes which are really their own."     --Jeff VanVonderen

Spiritual abuse has been around since the very beginning of Christianity. Unfortunately thousands of Christians still experience spiritual abuse every year. With this post I begin a new Label and seek to define spiritual abuse, as well as share a post with resources. In future posts I will contrast God's love, grace, and acceptance to the abuse of religious systems, churches, leaders, and groups. I will NOT be naming names or listing denominations, and/or churches. This topic is about the principles of spiritual abuse and how they run counter to the Biblical Gospel, and specifically against our new identity in Christ. Knowing our true identity in Christ makes us free, secure, and loving, keeping leaders from abusing and keeping followers from falling prey to their abuse. 

Below are FIVE CHARACTERISTICS OF CHURCHES AND/OR CHURCH LEADERS WHO ABUSE. But first...

What is spiritual abuse? I like this definition:

Spiritual abuse is the misuse of a position of power, leadership, or influence to further the selfish interests of someone other than the individual who needs help. Sometimes abuse arises out of a doctrinal position. At other times it occurs because of legitimate personal needs of a leader that are being met by illegitimate means. Spiritually abusive religious systems are sometimes described as legalistic, mind controlling, religiously addictive, and authoritarian.

Unlike other forms of abuse - physical, emotion, etc. - spiritual abuse can damage or even destroy a person's faith in God.  Spiritual abuse can occur under virtually any organizational structure, but “top down” hierarchical structures are especially well suited to systemic spiritual abuse. The term “spiritual abuse” was perhaps coined first by Jeff VanVonderen in the following book:

I think every leader should be willing to read this book. If a church leader is not willing to read this book that should be a clue to their own desire for uneven power. For those church leaders who are willing to read this book it will help them avoid the subtle temptation to do the following:

COMMON CHARACTERISTICS of Spiritual Abuse from here.

#1) Authoritarian

The most distinctive characteristic of a spiritually abusive religious system, or leader, is the over-emphasis on authority. Because a group claims to have been established by God Himself the leaders in this system claim the right to command their followers.

This authority supposedly comes from the position they occupy. In Matthew 23:1-2 Jesus said the Scribes and Pharisees "sit in Moses' seat," a position of spiritual authority. Many names are used but in the abusive system this is a position of power, not moral authority. The assumption is that God operates among His people through a hierarchy, or "chain of command." In this abusive system unconditional submission is often called a "covering," or "umbrella of protection" which will provide some spiritual blessing to those who fully submit. Followers may be told that God will bless their submission even if the leadship is wrong. It is not their place to judge or correct the leadership – God will see to that.

#2) Image Conscious

The abusive religious system is scrupulous to maintain an image of righteousness. The organization's history is often misrepresented in the effort to demonstrate the organization's special relationship to God. The mistaken judgements and character flaws of its leaders are denied or covered up in order to validate their authority. Impossibly high legalistic standards of thought and behavior may be imposed on the members. Their failure to live up to these standards is a constant reminder of the follower's inferiority to his leaders, and the necessity of submission to them. Abusive religion is, at heart, legalism.

Abusive religion is also paranoid. Because the truth about the abusive religious system would be quickly rejected if recognized, outsiders are shown only a positive image of the group. This is rationalized by assuming that the religion would not be understood by "worldly" people; therefore they have no right to know. This attitude leads to members being secretive about some doctrines and the inner policies and proceedures of the group. Leaders, especially, will keep secrets from their members. This secrecy is rooted in a basic distrust of others because the belief system is false and can not stand scrutiny.

#3) Suppresses Criticism

Because the religious system is not based on the truth it cannot allow questions, dissent, or open discussions about issues. The person who dissents becomes the problem rather than the issue he raised. The truth about any issue is settled and handed down from the top of the hierarchy. Questioning anything is considered a challenge to authority. Thinking for oneself is suppressed by pointing out that it leads to doubts. This is portrayed as unbelief in God and His anointed leaders. Thus the follower controls his own thoughts by fear of doubting God.

#4) Perfectionistic

A most natural assumption is that a person does not get something for nothing. Apart from the express declarations of salvation by grace through faith God has given in the scriptures, it would be natural to think that one must earn salvation, or at least work to keep it. Thus, in abusive religions all blessings come through performance of spiritual requirements. Failure is strongly condemned so there is only one alternative, perfection. So long as he thinks he is succeeding in his observation of the rules, the follower typically exhibits pride, elitism, and arrogance. However, when reality and failure eventually set in, the result is the person experiences spiritual burnout, or even shipwreck of his faith. Those who fail in their efforts are labeled as apostates, weak, or some other such term so that they can be discarded by the system.

#5) Unbalanced

Abusive religions must distinguish themselves from all other religions so they can claim to be distinctive and therefore special to God. This is usually done by majoring on minor issues such as prophecy, carrying biblical law to extremes, or using strange methods of biblical interpretation. The imbalanced spiritual hobby-horse thus produced represents unique knowledge or practices which seem to validate the group's claim to special status with God.

RECOVERY FROM SPIRITUAL ABUSEHealthy recovery from spiritual abuse must begin with understanding what has happened and how. A victim usually thinks he is the only one experiencing these
problems. Just being able to give a name to the problem is important. There are many books on the subject (see recommended reading below) that will be helpful in learning about spiritual abuse and recovery. 

Afterward the abused person must learn the true nature of God’s grace, love and forgiveness. This is the foundation for being able to eventually forgive the abuser. Being able to share the experience and what has been learned so as to minister to someone else’s need is also very important. This could be done in a support group made up of people with a similar experience who can share the healing love of Christ. Finally, a lot of time must be allowed for full recovery.

RECOMMENDED READING

 I've read this book a couple of times and will provide a full book review in a future post.

The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen, Bethany House Publishers. Dynamite! Excellent help for recognizing and escaping spiritual manipulation and false spiritual authority within the Church. 235 pages.

 Here are a few more on my to-read list.

Faith That Hurts, Faith That Heals, by Stephen Arterburn, and Jack Felton, Thomas Nelson Publishers. Very thorough treatment, analyzes beliefs that make
harmful faith, religious addiction, etc. as well as treatment and recovery, and the characteristics of healthy faith. 320 pages.

Breaking Free, by David R. Miller, Baker Book House. Speaking first-hand from the experiences of his own family, Miller penetrates virtually every nuance of legalism and its insidious effects on individual and family life. 176 pages.

Wisdom Hunter, be Randall Arthur, Multnomah Press. Taut, fast-paced thriller presents a powerful message about the damage caused by Christian legalism. 323
pages.

Churches That Abuse, by Ronald Enroth, Zondervan. Providing real-life examples throughout, Enroth probes every corner of the abusive church. He also provides help
to find the way out, and back to God’s healing. 253 pages, endnotes.

NEXT UP: BIBLICAL RESPONSES TO SPIRITUAL ABUSE