Top Warning Signs of a Spiritual Abuser or Religious Legalist

I cannot remember where I came across the following list. I pasted it as a draft a few months ago. Perhaps I'll find it again later. But I do wish to post it here because it's in keeping with the new label of spiritual abuse. The following list is of the high indicators of a spiritual abuser or religious legalist. Much can be said about each one. In fact I will make it a goal to write about each as a future blog post. Here they are: 

1- Wants special seat in church services (Matthew 23:1ff)
2- Desires special titles
3- Feels entitled to a salary because of all the "hard" work
4- Proudly displays or speaks about lists of spiritual accomplishments
5- Over confident in scripture interpretation
6- Lacks humility before "brothers" in Christ
7- Wears fine clothes as a badge/symbol
8- Appoints self to a five-fold position
9- Tends to alienate and divide more than unite believers
10- Does not have identity fully planted in work of Christ on the cross for salvation

The most important thing to recognize right now is... 

If you see any of these exercise extreme caution. Diligently pray for wisdom and proceed with whatever the Lord puts in your heart to do. Also, pray for the leader, specifically that he or she will gain the knowledge of #10 -- who they are in Christ. #10 changes everything. 

And here is my own opposite list -- Characteristics of a true spiritual leader: 

1. Would not hesitate, in fact, wants to give up the best seat for others
2. Down-plays or even refuses special titles and seeks a path to humility
3. Does not act entitled to payment for ministry
4. Rarely if ever speaks of own accomplishments, but works hard at highlighting the accomplishments of everyone else
5. Approaches Biblical interpretation with extreme humility, recognizing our own fallen state and inevitability of pre-supposition due to experiences and traditions
6. Considers the brothers in Christ to be the life-line to accountability and unity
7. Does not care about outward appearance as a sign of success, influence, or importance
8. Is "appointed" to a five-fold ministry by the acknowledgments of those he leads and does not ever dwell or harp on the appointment
9. Has a history of uniting believers and creating pathways to loving one another
10. Is unshaken in his or her faith due to identity being firmly planted in the work of Christ 

I look forward to supporting each of these with scriptures in future posts. I look forward even more to how encouraging and convicting this study is becoming. Truth be told, anyone with the slightest leadership ability/calling is tempted to fall into unhealthy patterns of thinking and acting. I know I am tempted. So looking at these closely is not only healthy it is essential if we are to promote the absolute love of Christ and avoid the pitfalls of spiritual abuse or religious legalism. 

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"Spiritual abuse occurs when someone in a position of spiritual authority, the purpose of which is to 'come underneath' and serve, build, equip and make God's people MORE free, misuses that authority placing themselves over God's people to control, coerce or manipulate them for seemingly Godly purposes which are really their own."     --Jeff VanVonderen

Have you ever been Spiritually Abused? Spiritual Abuse Defined: