Shunning Due to Fear

As part of a series of posts on spiritual abuse I add a few on the practice of shunning.

Shunning in a church is when a person or a family leaves a church and is told by a church leader or church leadership that people remaining in the church should avoid them. Shunning has been around as long as there have been churches. It's nothing new. It can be very discouraging to the persons being shunned. In my opinion it is even more destructive to the spirituality of those who are doing the shunning. There are times when we are actually commanded to shun. But as we will see these are in regards to attacks on the core faith or denial of Christ. More often, unfortunately, the practice of shunning is done in order to create fear. 

• Shunning is most often about striking fear in the hearts of those who are STILL in the church. 

We should not be mislead here. Shunning is most often NOT about the person or the family who has left. Church shunning is really about maintaining the status quo and the control over those who are still in the church. This is done by making them afraid to buck the system or question set doctrines or traditions. More specifically, the goal of shunning is to make people still in the church afraid of loosing their friends, family, and/or good reputation.

In most cases the church network is a tight network of friends and family and often the primary source of socializing and community. Since most legalistic churches have set doctrines, practices, and traditions that have been handed down from one generation to the next, if a person questions these they are often times threatening the central power of the church's hierarchy. If the person will not conform to the status quo and give up the fight they are forced out by rejection, or openly "disfellowshipped" (asked to leave).

Once the rebel is gone the real engine of religious shunning kicks in with the goal of making sure those who remain are not tempted to also question the church's doctrines, practices, or traditions. The people still in the church take note of what has happened to the "rebel" of the church. They see how they are shunned, how they lost their friends and how the slander has damaged their reputation. If shunning works the remaining members are afraid of the same thing happening to them. So they most often remain quiet. Even if they believe something different than the leaders of the church they will not risk being cut off from friends and family. Shunning has accomplished its goal of striking fear in the hearts of those who remain in the church. 

• Shunning is practiced in churches because the church members, and the church leader or leadership are insecure. 

If a church leader or church leadership is teaching the unconditional love of God and the ultimate sacrifice of Christ on the cross for the sins of mankind, which makes us all brothers and sisters in Christ, then there is nothing to be insecure about. But if a church leader is not holding up the atonement as central, of if he is teaching that his church is better then other churches because "we believe this" or "we don't believe that," or "we do this" or "we don't do that," then his church is built in sinking sand. This makes him and everyone else insecure.

(Important: Make no mistake, if a church leader is NOT teaching "God so loved the world he gave his only Son" then he is teaching salvation by works. There is no middle ground. Either God has made us right by the blood of Christ or WE are trying to make ourselves right with God by what we do, don't do, think, or believe.)

At the heart of all shunning is an insecure church leader or church leadership that has not built a foundation on the solid rock of Christ's sacrifice but on some form or works-righteousness.  In many cases this works-based "gospel" sounds quite good, noble, or right. It might be service, sacrifice, disciple making, or rigorous Bible study. It might be church reform such as house churching or community "life." But it is still works-based and not simply a teaching of "Christ and Him crucified" as Paul emphasized (1 Cor. 2:2).

The result of promoting a form of works-righteousness is insecure church members who focus on performance. And so the sinking sand is under foot and the church leader or leadership is constantly battling to keep the church together. This in turn makes the church leader incredibly insecure. And so this insecurity leads to the practice of shunning. 

• Shunning is often times a very subtle shifting of sin. 

Religious shunning is not just the dramatic, obvious stories.  More often church shunning is quite subtle and is often times the shifting of the church leader's sins onto another. This is known in secular circles as psychological projection. Sometimes a church leader himself can be heavily involved in gossip, slander, or character assassinations but not see his own faults. Or he may justify these practices and attitudes in his mind somehow. Then he might project his own sin onto others, believing this is going on with members of his church. He is shifting - or projecting - his own sins onto others.

In an effort to protect himself from guilt he teaches the church to shun those who threaten his power or who might expose his sin. If people within the church do not study the scriptures for themselves and stand up against the leader or leaders the abuse can go on indefinitely. There are those called to fight within a church. If the abuse goes on the persons most spiritually hurt in the process are not the ones being shunned but the church membership and the authority figures themselves.

It's time to fix our eyes on The unconditional love of Christ. Jesus Christ did not teach shunning but instead demonstrated inclusion. Dwelling on the mighty love of God, and excepting fully our new Identity In Christ, turns the shifting sand into solid concrete. If you know who you are, your new creation status, you have nothing to fear.

 People may come and go from your church but you have nothing to fear. People may disagree with you and not except your most cherished doctrines but you have nothing to fear. People may not even like you or your preaching or your personality but you have nothing to fear. You, my friend, were bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. This is what truly matters. 

Paul came to teach "nothing but Christ and him crucified." If you determine from this day forward to teach the same then it does not matter if your church grows or shrinks you have nothing to fear. There is no more need to shun. You have nothing to fear. 

You have nothing to fear because everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord is your brother or your sister in Christ.